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Creating a Personal Safety Plan

We understand that leaving isn’t always possible right away. You may still be living with your partner, or working out your next steps. A personal safety plan helps you prepare for different situations and make informed decisions based on your own circumstances.

Here are some steps that may help:

  • Avoid danger zones: If you sense things escalating, try to move to a lower-risk area of the home – avoid the kitchen or bathroom where there may be sharp objects or hard surfaces.

  • Plan escape routes: Think about how you could leave each room safely and where you could go in an emergency.

  • Keep essentials nearby: Store a small bag or set of items (such as keys, phone, money, and documents) in a safe but accessible place, in case you need to leave quickly. You can see more about what to pack in an emergency bag here:

  • Let someone know: If it’s safe to do so, tell a trusted friend, family member or neighbour about your situation. You could ask them to call the police if they hear shouting or concerning noises.

  • Support for children: If you have children, teach them when and how to call 999 – but never to intervene directly. You could also agree on a code word or signal they can use to let you know they feel unsafe.

  • Use code words: Agree on a discreet phrase or word with trusted people so they know when to call for help or act on your behalf.

  • Trust your instincts: You are not to blame for doing what you need to do to stay safe. If this means complying or placating the abuser in a moment of danger, that is a survival response – not collusion.

  • Contact Numbers: Keep or learn a list of important phone numbers e.g. Outreach Worker, Solicitor, Doctor etc. In an emergency dial 999.

Planning to Leave

Leaving an abusive relationship is a brave and personal decision, and often the most dangerous time. Planning ahead can help you stay safer during this time.

Things you can do:

  • Keep important documents (e.g. passports, birth certificates, ID, medical cards, immigration papers, court papers) together in a secure place.

  • Set aside some emergency money, if you can.

  • Choose a safe place to go and plan your journey. Have a backup plan if your first choice isn’t possible.

  • Only share your plans with people you trust. You can also choose not to tell others, or to give a different reason for your departure to protect yourself and them.

  • Find out more about housing options and how we can help here
The image is of a cutout wooden house with the sunset behind it. Housing options for people in Guildford

After You’ve Left

Sadly, abuse doesn’t always stop when the relationship ends. Your safety remains important, especially in the weeks and months after separation.

Steps to consider:

  • Let trusted neighbours and friends know your ex-partner should not be near your home – and to call the police if they see anything worrying.

  • Change the locks and consider extra security (we can help through the Sanctuary Scheme).

  • Let your child’s school or nursery know who has permission to collect them and that your ex-partner is not permitted to do so.

  • Change your phone number and ask colleagues or your employer to screen any unexpected calls.

  • Change your habits – take different routes, shop in new places, and avoid patterns where possible.

  • Inform the police of any breaches, even if you don’t wish to press charges at that time.

Whether you are planning to leave or not, there are some things that you can consider doing that may help in the future:

  • Keep a diary or record of abusive incidents. These can help in any future legal or housing proceedings.

  • Report incidents to the police, even if you don’t press charges – it helps to build a record.

  • Set up your own bank account to support financial independence, transfer your money (including benefits) into your name.

  • Speak to a solicitor – many offer free initial consultations.

  • Keep important documents in a safe place, either hidden in the home or at a friends or relatives house (e.g. birth/marriage certificates, national insurance card, passport, driving licence etc. You may also want to hide items that have a sentimental value to your or your children 

Online Safety

Technology can be used to monitor, track, or control. For advice on how to stay safe online, including clearing your browser history or checking device settings, please click here.

Every situation is different – your plan should reflect what feels right and safe for you. You are the expert in your own life, and we will walk alongside you with care and respect.

 

Contact SWSDAS today to speak confidentially with a support worker about your safety.